Feet Worms Poop etc.

What is so bad about eating my foot? Every time I get into my bed and get comfortable, and start eating my foot, Mrs. Stillman has a conniption.

“Libby!” she yells, “NO feet!” what a pain she is!  I am going to have to resort to eating my foot while she is sleeping, or out of the house, which is believe me, not often enough.

But, I have another problem that’s even more important. All summer I have helped Mrs. Stillman dig holes in the garden, eat worms, eat dirt, wash my feet in mud, and other various chores. As you know my plog has suffered from my inattention.

What I want to know is when does a dog get a little time for self-actualization? I have my own emotional well being to consider too ya know. But tell that to a human! Just because I never take my eyes off Mrs. Stillman, and follow her with at most an inch clearance, she thinks I have no need for personal time, no need to exercise my dog given rights for my own creativity!  Like foot eating for instance, or pillow digging.   Oh well what’s a dog to do…

Finally, for Joanne, I would like to mention “housebreaking.” Sometimes Mrs. Stillman actually goes out without me. Shocking, I know, but she has doctors’ appointments or something “major” she says. Anyway she always walks me before she leaves hoping I will poop out any poop I might use to express myself (ha ha no pun unintended). However,  when she doesn’t have time to walk me, I have been known to poop right near the door where I am impatiently awaiting her return. I read that I do it because of “separation anxiety.” Oh yes, I know about these things. I’m no dumb dog” like some people I know.  So therefore I would simply request that she walk me before leaving. If, due to an emergency,  pre walking me is not possible, I would appreciate her not stepping in my perfectly formed separation anxiety poop, the minute she walks in the door (while I am simultaneously jumping up on her).

BTW, why would anyone want to break a perfectly good house? Humans are such idiots.

I have to go garden now and maybe poop in the yard.