Summer Chores

Okay, so you wanna know where I’ve been all summer. Well I have been super busy!

1.    Besides all the usual hole digging and flower rearranging,

2.   I’ve been helping Mrs. Stillman paint her two-story house! She does the scraping and standing while I stand guard to make sure no other dogs try to paint her house while she’s not looking.

3.   In addition to that, I was recently self-appointed as the Dog Therapist for the neighborhood. As to be expected in this economy, my client load is way too heavy. But what’s a dog to do? Dogs have problems and I’m the only one old and wise enough to do the job.  And, because of the recent spate of social service firings, I’ve even had to take on some Human clients (under the table) as well. After all, if people think they can “whisper” us then I don’t see why we can’t “whimper” them.

    Here’s a picture of me with one of my human clients. She is having a problem with her cat (ugh) Mikey. 

 He keeps going up on her roof, where he does surveillance.                      

At around two AM, he decides he needs help getting down, so he howls real loud right above my client’s bedroom window. As a result, she is very tired. I told her to see if she can arrange a shift change with the neighbor cat. He works for some college students and I am sure they wouldn’t mind letting their cat inside at 2 am.  They’re probably not even asleep yet.

4.   Oh, and then there’s the Puppy Principles book that I am trying to write. I'm writing it in Puppy language, which seems to come naturally to me.

5.   My article on Bones and Pensions in the new Edogomy, which I am doing for The Edogomist Quarterly, is almost finished, but making it understandable to humans is a bitch. In any case, I hope to have it ready for my next post, which will be coming out anywhere from tomorrow to 2025.

6.   Finally my ongoing campaign for President takes up a lot of my time and energy as well.

So you can’t expect me to constantly write in the Plog about every little bitty thing I do every day. My Dogness! What do you think I am?  Superhuman?