Reasons

First of all, I was wondering.

I’m afraid of my water bowl. Are you?

The (ugh) cat is not, but he is afraid of the refrigerator door. What an idiot! The water bowl is one thing, but the refrigerator? Really!

Okay…The reason I have not been plogging is because I’ve been walking a lot with Mrs. Stillman.  She must love my poop, cause every time I make some; she picks it up in a little plastic bag and saves it!!  Then she takes it home and stores it in a big green box with a cover. Weird! She takes pictures of me doin it too!   She is a nut case! 

Then we go walking down the street and meet people and there she is with this bag of smelly poop in her hand. It’s soooooo embarrassing! I try to say, “It’s hers!”*, But the people don’t seem to understand my language. Oh well.

Okay, the real reason I haven’t been writing is because Memee, my (ugh) cat asked me to hang out with him.  He said he had no other friends. (Like I am?) 

Anyway, What could I do? I’m not a monster!

 So I sat with him and watched TV all the time. What a drag!   

No, just kidding, really, here’s the real reason. 

I wait and wait for Mrs. Stillman to help me but she is always Goddamn gard*ning!  

Although I must admit, I enjoy it too. Sometimes while Mrs. Stillman is planting, I work on the sidewalk. I try to erase the lines. It's fun. As you know I was incarcerated for ten long years. I really never learned to play until I got here. 

    

No but really, Sometimes I sit waiting for her for hours as

she goes gallivanting around.

But can I go dogivanting? Oh no!  

I'm not even trusted to get off the porch by myself! 


I just have to sit there. And I can't plog without her ya know.

Wait a minute....................................... What the? Oh @$#%^&**#@** !
For Dog's sake!   


Mrs. Stillman just said she wouldn’t print this for me unless I tell the truth.             

                        Okay okay oooooooookay !!

I didn’t want to say this at first because I didn’t think you’d believe me. But the real reason I haven’t been writing is.......... because ummm

Now I want you to trust me on this.. :)

the real reason is the cat 

ate my homework......