I’m filing a complaint with the EDC

I thought and thought yesterday but couldn’t think of a thing to say. UNTIL we took a shower. Mrs. Stillman was in the shower and I was outside the shower licking up some water drops, when all these ideas started popping into my head. Why do dogs always get ideas when they’re in the shower? Okay, so I’m shouting my ideas to Mrs. Stillman and she’s yelling “I can’t write in here!”. Now how was I supposed to remember all that stuff? I’m a dog.

Anyway I’m filing a complaint with the EDC (equal dogrights committee).

I mean, I’m as happy for the Egyptian people as any other dog, but yesterday Mrs. Stillman just sat watching that TV all day!  She is definitely not paying me enuf attention. BTW Why do people say “I mean?”  before every time they speak? They don’t look mean to me.  I mean they seem very nice..

 Listen to what happened! Last night was awful. It started like this:

Aljazeera is on and Mrs. Stillman is painting her paws. Weird!  Then she sticks mud all over her face, even her eyelashes! YUK! 

Meanwhile, she’s saying to me “Now don’t worry, I’ll only be gone for a little while.” What does gone mean?  Is it like doggone? Sounds like some sort of cookie. But how could she be a cookie for only a little while?

 Anyway she keeps saying that and kissing me a lot. And then Boom!  I lick my foot for one puppy second and she sneaks right out the door!

 I was beside myself. What was she thinking? That I could run this whole place by myself? And take care of the cat? How was I supposed to reach the cat food? Or give us water? No way could I reach that shiny stick with water in it. No way! I went to sleep to think it over.

Finally, Three thousand years later I hear her on the porch. So I bark and do my shivering plus wiggling thing. I really want to guilt trip her ya know? Sure enough she picks me up and cuddles me singing something like

         Libby my girl. OOOOh Libby my girl,

Libby my girl, Libby my girl.

Libby my girl. OOOOh Libby my girl,

Libby my girl, my girl. *

Not very creative, in my opinion. Still no treat though.

Finally she quiets down and starts looking at the carpet all over. Reeealy hard. Then she finds this>>>

and goes nuts!

Out come the treats

And she starts singing again 

Who’s the grandest dog in all the world?

 You are you are.

Poody doo Poody doo

Poody doo pi doo pi doo.

My ears still hurt, but it was worth it. I’m gonna do that all the time to get those treats.  It worked even better than the shivering bit.

* _{cbef A gfed  gfed gfed} 

_{cbef A gfed  gfed gfed} 

_Maybe