Billion Mile Ride

Yesterday Mrs. Stillman and I went for a ride. We went very far away. I think rounded off,  it was about a billion miles, give or take.  The sky was gray and cloudy so we left early to avoid driving in the thunderstorm that we knew was sneaking up on us. 

We drove along a road that had grass on one side, and a very big, long lake on the other. 

Soon, The weather got darker and worser.  Mrs. Stillman turned on her lights. We slowed down but we didn’t stop. Up ahead I saw a giant wall of soap suds!

Well, It was so foggy  that Mrs. Stillman drove RIGHT INTO it. That was something.  But It wasn’t like hitting a wall,  it didn’t hurt a bit. We just slipped right in like magic.

Once we got in the whole world turned white.  It seemed like we were in a giant bubble bath. Mrs. Stillman said we were going through a cloud. Imagine that, me, flyin through a cloud!

Life certainly has changed since I got out of that puppy-mill dungeon! :)

Soon, I got a little nervous cause we couldn’t see anything.  Plus, every once in a while a monster would come  through the cloud.  Its big white eyes got bigger and bigger and then poof! It disappeared behind us.

When we finally drove out of the cloud I relaxed . We had already driven for eleventy thousand and 2 hours,  so I took a little nap.  When I woke up I looked into the mirror to see the lake. But it wasn’t there!  Instead there was an entire river of those soap suds!

Mrs. Stillman said the lake was still there underneath the soap suds.. The soap puffs swept along the water as if they had magic invisible wheels.

They were big and scary and beautiful all at once. A lotta things are like that.  
Like a hill,

the moon....and even Mrs. Stillman. Well not as beautiful as a dog but shhhh, I’m buttering her up.

Anyway, the name of the lake is Cayuga. That’s a Native word.  It’s not English. I heard from some coon hounds  that European people took a lot more than words from the natives. I wonder what?

I speak a lotta word languages: Cat, Dog, Wolf, Pupplish, English, French and German. But I don’t know Native yet. I’ll have to study up on it.  Why do I speak German if I’m a French Poodle? Well, my ancestors actually came from Germany. They were sporting dogs just like water spaniels.  They jumped right into the water to retrieve stuff for people. They jumped into Water into Puddles, get it?  In Germany we were called Pudel  (puddle) dogs. But in German that is pronounced Poo-dle, so, Voila!  I’m a parti colored-pudle dog, and proud of it. 

I’ll bet you didn’t know that the very first poodles were parti dogs like me.  

Yup, until some monsters called kennel clubs killed us off and just kept the plain old solid colored ones. That’s why I personally hate ‘pedigrees.’  Although I do like their food sometimes.

 ❥ Okay I got off road there for a minute. So, after a while we passed an actual living factory called the Aurora Shoe company. They ACTUALLY MAKE shoes there.  And I thought shoes came from space! 

  

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Then we drove by barns and farms and lots of black and white parti colored cows.

As we passed, they all smiled at us.  We smiled back, and for a long time afterwards too.

Finally, after roughly 500 million  miles we arrived at a Reservation. It was a Native American reservation.  We must live in a Foreign American reservation.  But, I think ours is bigger. I don’t think that’s fair, do you? After all they were here first. 

Well anyway, Mrs. Stillman bought a lotta stuff there. And I heard her say something like “goddamn murderers”.  What does god-damn mean?  I know what murderer means. It means Amish Puppy Mill Owners.

Driving home was the same as going, except backwards, sort of.  We passed the smiling cows and a general store

 and the factory 

and the lake- 

which had no soap bubbles any more- and then home.

First, both of us had a yummy lunch with the (ugh) cat. 

He was waiting at the door for us, and as usual pushed his face right in mine. Pee-u! 

After lunch I was pretty tired so I tried to take a nap alone but someone insisted on being with me.

Other than that it was a great day.